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My second last act was to upload a stock photo with the immortal title "disgusting looking woman with a glass of Pilsner" (I assume it was supposed to be 'disgusted', she looks perfectly pleasant). I'm going to eat Groaning International Buffet for all my meals and read The Goldfinch and fret about getting freckles whilst getting burnt shoulders for a week.

On current reckoning the children will mainly practise that stupid Cup Song and be sarcastic at each other and bitch about the absence of origami tutorials.

Sent internationally for your viewing pleasure, these Deutschland hunks and honeys shed their European inhibitions—getting down and dirty.

And as those in our Germany XXX may say, “Sie hat Holz vor der Hütte!

I have applied fake tan of a dubious vintage and efficacy late at night assisted by a hysterical nine year old: I can't wait to see how that looks in the morning.

I have tried, really tried until I couldn't see straight, to get all my work done and got most of it out of the way and my last act before putting on my out of office has been to harry the people who are still holding my money hostage after the Belgian postal service's non-boot delivery (god, this tedious business has taken months off my life but I will not let it go). I am not taking a computer and I'm turning off my phone (though I am bringing a paper notebook and will try and write stuff down for my return).

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I was very passionate to do this interview for many reasons.

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From Berlin to Hamburg, there’s nothing but hot and hardcore German-native sex here!

The one thing I am CONVINCED of is that the MOST IMPORTANT part of the golf swing is NOT the GRIP, ADDRESS POSITION or SWING's pivot. Or as Lynn Blake calls it...public enemy #1 for a golfer.

That's probably my one gripe with a lot of the TGM instructors.

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